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标签:英语笑话

云海 创建于:2013-11-5 13:47:53 收藏
KevinKevin
Kevin  写的日记: 笑话:我们什么也没留下
We Left Nothing
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."
When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
"THANKS!
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2014-08-13 16:40 来自:挚友网
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cindy02cindy02
cindy02  写的日记: 省一半的煤
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋,说:“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤,那么如果我买两个炉子的话,不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
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2014-05-15 23:47 来自:挚友网
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KevinKevin
Kevin  写的日记: 笑话:闷屁Silent fart
A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem.
"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"
The doctor replies:
"The first thing we're going to do is check your h
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2014-03-28 23:47 来自:挚友网
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KevinKevin
Kevin  说:
Imitation
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
模仿
一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。
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2014-02-18 18:36 来自:挚友网
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KevinKevin
Kevin  说:
Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何都能酬谢他。
“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
2014-02-17 12:06 来自:挚友网
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KevinKevin
Kevin  写的日记: 粪堆里的小鸟
A little bird fly to south for the winter. It was very cold, almost frozen bird. Hence, fly to a large space, after a cow there, in a pile of cow dung upon the bird, frozen bird lying on the dunghill, feel very warm, gradually recovered, it is warm and comfortable lying, and soon began to sing songs, a passing wildcat hear voices, see, follow the voice, wildcats quickly found lying on the dunghill, bird, pull it out.
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2014-01-15 22:43 来自:挚友网
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KevinKevin
Kevin  说:
Beware of Dog
Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
"Yep, that's him," came the reply.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me.
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2013-11-26 16:16 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  说:
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
忍耐是痛苦的,但它的果实是甜蜜的。
——卢梭
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2013-11-08 19:08 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  写的日记: Kids Jokes Part 11
Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!
Q. Who sits on babies?
A. A babysitter.
Q. What has arms and legs, but no head?
A. A chair!
Q. What runs but never walks?
A. Water!
Q. What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
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2013-11-08 10:28 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  说:
Genius only means hard-working all one's life .
天才只意味着终身不懈的努力。
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2013-11-07 15:40 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  写的日记: Kids Jokes Part 10
Q. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A. To win the nobell prize
Q. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?
A. They wear snow caps.
Q. Why did the balloon burst?
A. Because it saw a lolly pop!
Q. Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
A.
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2013-11-07 15:01 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  说:
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
初恋就是一点点笨拙外加许许多多好奇。
——肖伯纳
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2013-11-06 17:01 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  写的日记: Kids Jokes Part 9
Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
A. Swimming trunks.
Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?
A. An umbrella.
Q. What disappears when you stand up?
A. Your lap.
Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
A. My pop is bigger than yours.
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2013-11-06 11:10 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  说:
Achievement provides the only real pleasure in life.
有所成就是人生唯一的真正乐趣。
——爱迪生 Thomas Edison
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2013-11-05 14:11 来自:挚友网
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云海云海
云海  写的日记: Kids Jokes Part 8
Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A.
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2013-11-05 13:47 来自:挚友网
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